Left Hand Suck.

In my current state of left thumb injury, it has become clear that some things are really hard to do.

-Clip my right fingernails.

-Open a jar of pickles. Significantly harder than normal.

-Pull ups. Though I suck at those anyway.

-Get the keys out of my pocket. Really? I have to give my pocket the reach around over with my other hand just to get my keys to get into my car or house.

-Put on a backpack. Snag my stupid thumb every time no matter how careful I am.

-Open packets of ketchup or hot sauce. Just give me the damn condiments please.

-Tear gaff tape. I’ll just wait a month to use any gaff tape I guess.

-Turn door knobs. Especially on left knobbed sides of doors. I reach for the knob by default with that sided hand.

Surprisingly not difficult things to do include dispensing toothpaste and giving out thumbs ups to people. It blows me away to think about how one stupid little injury to one stupid little appendage of my body can reduce my worth as a human so greatly. But then again, it amazes me how worthless I can become due to stupid stuff like dog hair and pollen and those are even smaller than a thumb (one would hope).

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I promise no more kittehs for a while.

Busted.

When I was younger, there was this movie called City Of Angels which was this really sappy turd of a love story involving Nicholas Cage in his pre-Bad-Hair-Cut-Sort-of-Action-Star days and Meg Ryan in her pre-Wax-Museum-With-No-Air-Conditioning phase. Basically Cage gives up his status as an angel in order to become human and sweep Ryan off her feet but (spoiler??) right after he does that, Ryan gets run over by a logging truck while riding her bike with no hands and her eyes closed like an idiot and she dies. Cage is left without his love and is no longer an angel.

It stunk.

It wasn’t until much later, maybe my junior year of college, that I saw the movie that City of Angels was loosely based off of called Wings of Desire. Not only is the original title better (not playing off the pseudo-clever location of Los Angeles for a limp attempt to draw in people who know “wit” from “the hole of your ass”) but the original movie is actually wonderful. It’s good for many reasons such as the inclusion of Columbo and a really nice scene with Nick Cave (not to be confused with Nick Cage). It’s a fantastic movie and I highly recommend it.

Anyways, the point is that if I have a guardian angel following me around, I’m pretty sure it’s a fat guy with a name like Karl or Dennis and he just constantly plays a muted trumpet like in cartoons… “whaaamp-whaaaah”

My thumb is as cracked as the taco shells I ate for lunch today. The bone under my thumbnail is split damn near in two.

Whaaamp-Waaah. Bruising much?

And just in time for this new bike to be sitting here, untouched for 4-6 weeks while my stupid thumb heals up. I’ve taken it out and ridden it around the block once a day for the last three days just so I feel like less of a prick for having this thing sit around collecting dust. I’ve been riding it with one hand but I’ve been keeping my eyes open for any logging trucks so as to not end up a road pancake like Meg Ryan’s clumsy character in City of Bad Angles.

Oh well.

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In dreary times such as these, one thing can be counted on for lifting spirits…

Kittehs.

Yup. Kittehs.

Lazy Day: Randoms Dump 7.6.09

It’s time to share some more random photos that I found noteworthy for whatever reason.

First off, I have no idea if this is real… but it’s amazing. Obviously.

This is more or less how I would ride a dirt bike:

LEARN THE DIFFERENCE!

Charlotte Gainsbourg. Swoon.

Eagle Vs Shark. Every bit of painfully awkard comedy film that Napoleon Dynamite could have been had it been more centered on rudimentary romance.

Okay. All for now. Maybe real content later.

Ignur’t Amuricins.

Let’s face the facts. Americans are self absorbed and basically a bunch of assholes. We assume much of the rest of the world and it’s made us look like a bunch of pricks.

I think that goes without saying.

So what about the other side of that. What about other people and how they see us?

This Aaron Huey fellow pulled off a pretty nifty photoshoot and interview set with some Yemeni women in their niqabs. So all we can see from the photoshoot is their eyes looking back at us.

http://www.viceland.com/int/v16n6/htdocs/the-eyes-have-it-909.php?page=1

What surprised me is that this was done for Vice magazine… a publication that I didn’t think was allowed to be anything but impossibly cool and supremely ironic. The interview questions are super simple and very revealing. Things that I think a lot of Americans would not have asked these women if given the chance.

His photography is pretty solid and he’s worked a lot of really great projects. You can see his work on his website: http://www.aaronhuey.com/

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HEARTBURN!!!! GET THE PREVACID!!!

Still one of the best sci-fi movies ever.

Recycled Hate

I’ve posted this on the old blog before but it turned up while digging through a hard drive and I think it’s worth re-posting.

This is from a super8 film class I took in the spring of 2008 I think it was. The assignment called for me to make a self portrait film. In order to keep it simple I just ran a single shot for the length of the roll of film. The audio gets layered on with as many as 14 tracks going at the same time. The whole Idea was that I’m a horrible person: I’ll judge you for no good reason at all. All you have to do is happen to walk by me on the street and you could be a victim of my foregone conclusions. The wildly insufficient defense that is implied is that I do the same thing to everyone, at least I’m not discriminating.

Anyways, the film went over well and everyone seemed to get a kick out of it but only a small handful of fellow students drew the connection that I’ve probably done exactly the same thing to them. And only two had the guts to inquire what my initial snap judgement was about them.

For the film nerds this is Ektachrome 64t filtered for daylight and hand processed in a tank with a Kodak 6 bath e-6 kit. Digital transfer using capture-mate and some sony trv-900 or something for capture.

I should also note that I’m trying to move away from this mentality and better understand why it is that I’m such a ‘hater’ and what it actually is that pisses me off about the world. At least 98% of my hating is meant for comic relief and I harbor no real ill will.

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I see you.

Even as a kid I felt like I was tripping my ass off just watching this movie.