The New Boredom

Here’s a fancy pants video with many high definitions of the Yeti crew at Sea Otter that I butchered.

———————————–

Today’s list of stupid crap I am supposed to be friends with: Evanston (I’ve never been there), Coffee (which I haven’t had since middle school and never actually enjoyed), Beer (which I don’t drink), Cheesecake (which I don’t eat), The SF Bike Expo (no thanks, don’t want to hang out with that many fixed gear dorks), and Swine Flu (because there isn’t enough of that in the news, it should occupy your social networking time too, just in case).

I was so excited to move on from Sea Otter that I completely forgot to recap my Nostradomic predictions for what would happen at the Otter in 2009… like every Otter before it.

-It was freezing in the morning and sweltering all day.

-I missed plenty of shots because I could only recognize a handful of world cuppers in their new kits.

-I walked at least 5 miles a day, or so it felt. Nothing was close together.

-Never even tried to cross the pits this year but still had plenty of “Hey, what you been up to in the off season… ok… cool… well, see ya later” type conversations anyway.

-Plenty of boring new parts with bold new graphics. Plenty of bike checks done by that stupid lake, some at least done ironically this year.

-The podiums were extremely weak.

-The dual stunt was scheduled at the same time as pro dh racing… good call dipshits. At least it wasn’t windy for that.

-I never used to media center except to steal drinks for everyone else. The wi-fi seemed decent this year. I never went in to see if some dill-hole was shooting medium-format-digital-back product shots and boring everyone to death with his bland photography and tales of how much money it was raking it.

-5000 photographers took the same 9 shots as every other year. Three photographers did something interesting and fresh.

-I did get sick though not nearly as bad as previous years. This was by far my healthiest Sea Otter.

so… I was pretty much right. Any monkey with a typewriter or an iphone would have made the same predicitons and been just as correct.

——————————————————-

You know who is a swell guy? Justin from Lucent Productions. He does damn good work. I loved his bit for the Fox video contest a couple years ago. While everyone else was trying to re-make Old World Disorder, Justin made something with heart and you can see that same love for cycling in all his videos. Like this one. While we may not be full on bros, I can tell you he’s a-okay.

——————————————————-

I’ve been snuck up on by stealthy Priuses (priii?) in parking lots and neighborhood streets for the last few years, especially in Boulder. But I don’t know if it warrants a full on mega-budget study. I agree with engadget though, we should all drive around with windows down yelling “VROOOM VROOOM” noises anyway.

——————————————————-

Today’s stupid shit things I’m supposed to be friends with on the internets: Being On Fire, Procrastination, Seattle.

Stupid social networking can’t be serious. Here’s some more suggested things that I be friends with that have popped up lately: EXPLOSIONS!, Garlic, Not Being On Fire, and Chase Jarvis (the most up his own ass, overrated, dog shit photographer alive).  I don’t want to be friends with any of that noise.

I’ll have to make this a regular thing. I’ll post the stupid shit that I’m supposed to be friends with for a while.

————————————————–

So social networking can’t be serious but do you know what does mean business?

This does:

Not only is the logo design infinitely more appealing than any of Pepsi’s recent re-branding garbage designs but the MD throwback is brewed with real sugar! Here’s a little background- American Mountain Dew is made with high fructose corn syrup, basically boiled down corn until it becomes unbearably sweet. It also has a mountain’s worth of caffeine in it. But then you cross the border up to Canada and their MD is made with sugar but also has NO caffeine in it whatsoever. So you chug a bunch of it thinking that you’re getting your caffeine fix but really you’re shooting blanks and thanks to the real sugar, your caffeine withdrawals are made worse by the plummeting sugar crash that hits you 30 minutes after you drink it when you expect to feel great.

Now, the best of both worlds can be purchased in a can here. Sugar, and shit loads of caffeine. In one good looking can.

Let me tell you that when this shit hit my lips I did backflips through space-time and ended up in a puddle of my own childhood memories. I was amazed at how vividly I remembered the old taste once the refresher hit me. All the conjured up, long forgotten memories was like a really bad montage of my life flashing before my dew soaked lips. As it turns out, I’ve led a really dull life. But at least now it’s one full of potential for a great future. Sugar and caffeine in one good looking can.

————————————————–

If I haven’t already sent you this link personally then I’m sorry and you should watch it now:

Spike Jonze is an amazing character. I love that he just straight up yells the whole interview like he’s half deaf. He’s insane and amazing and I am pissing my pants in anxious anticipation for Where The Wild Things Are.

So I’m at the club, right? And I’m shaking my money maker to some god damn MGMT remix and nursing my $5 Diet Coke when you walk in. You’re wearing your favorite jeans and a blue thing on top that looks like it came from a dumpster in the 80’s, but I don’t care cus your flats match it, and all your friends are all dressed like tramps in 7″ heels.

Then another MGMT remix comes on and I decide I’ve had enough of that noise so I head back to the bar where I’ll be ignored for 5 minutes trying to get a refill on my cold beverly. That’s when I see you again at the other end of the bar only I’m not sure if it’s you. I see a blue thing that looks like cheap wrapping paper on a nice gift but my glasses are kinda old and I can’t really tell. So I squint and adjust and try my damnedest to confirm my suspicions when you catch me gawking.

We lock eyes and I reel you in with my disgusting mustache that has a little bit of cheese in it from dinner. I wink at you, but because I can’t wink very well it just comes off as a weird nervous facial tick shining bright through my goofy specs. It’s supposed to signal that you should totally come on over here and tell me your story…

And then you totally throw up.

And I lol and take my drink back to the dance floor where I shake my money maker to a Cut Copy remix. All in a night’s work.

I went for a totally sweet bmx ride yesterday, during which I did not do a single thing that I wanted to do. But I got outside from two days of exporting videos and smashing my face against a keyboard. The sun was out. Everyone was happy. Life was pretty damn good there for a couple hours.

It’s scary as hell to be riding with an iphone. It’s just going to get smashed one day soon when I mess up something simple like a doofy half cab. But having this around and a few filters in my wallet have been probably the most fun I’ve had with photography in months.

it’s just nice to take a shot and not worry about how baller it is and how many megapixels it has and how many f=stops you have in your pocket and how many iso’s you’re packing and how much unsharp masking you’re doing… this camera phone junk has the freedom from that which I miss from film and the convenience of being digital with easily replaced mistakes.

Weeee.

————————————————-

If you want to get yourself just boiling over with rage, read up on this whole ’sexting’ scandal in which some Puritan asshole lawyer is charging teenagers for possessing child pornography… in the form of photos of themselves…. often clothed. Jeeebus, if some girl wants to risk having photos of her boobies floating around school then let her embarrassment and mountains of teasing be the punishment. There’s not need to get the real legal system involved. Cruel high school kids are worse than the death penalty anyways.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124026115528336397.html

How much do you want to bet that lawyer ends up in some far worse scandal himself in the next 5 years?

————————————————-

Everyone in the world has seen this already but I was reminded of it last night when I saw a big display at the store of Pepsi products and their doofy new branding…

Reminds me of Hertzfeldt.

You can see more of their art at: http://suckatlife.com/artwork.html