The New Boredom

All the haters are standing on ground softer and less stable than some sort of water-bed/hammock mutant hybrid. I’ve yet to hear one reasonable reason as to why this movie does not just kick a thousand asses.

Sorry for being short. Like Skee-lo, I wish I was a little bit taller.

—————————————————————

This week I’m burning the candle from both ends. And it’s starting to show in my words that fly out of my mouth.

Like this morning, for example, I went to the coffee shop upstairs from my office and ordered some green tea. The lady at the register says they have some new green tea that’s “really good” and “full of anti-oxidants.”

And I said, “Good, I fucking hate oxidants.”

She seemed surprised. Almost as if she were thinking “Well jeez, I mean oxidants aren’t that bad. I mean sure they can be annoying and maybe not take the hint that you’re in a hurry and you don’t really have time to chat right now but they just keep talking but I mean that’s no reason to really hate them.”

But you know what, she was right. It was really good. And I assume full of anti-oxidants.

14+ hour days are for the birds. I want a break already.

—————————————————————-

huh?

Too many drugs = possible.

Too many drugs = bad.

You can’t tell me that abusing drugs doesn’t make you at least dance like a prick and wear tortoise shell cut out tee shirts. There’s a difference between the free spirited, dance like no one’s watching, flailing limb child dance… and whatever the shit that guy is doing with his life.

Yeah, yeah, I know correlation is not causation but come on.

—————————————————————————–

Some one get a pair of these for Lil’ John.

I’ve been looking for this damned zip hoodie for a while. It was totally hip and emo and all the other things I hate. Stripey Volcom thingy I scored on clearance (why else would I own anything Volcom?), it was light duty and fit me like a custom tailored glove. It’s that time of year to wear it again and now it’s no where to be found!

It was last seen partying balls in Boulder until the break of dawn this May (notice the glazed eyes and generally shiny complexion sub-parenthesis: on me).

I assume it was spotted one last time in Angelfire making me practically irresistible to the ladies. Luckily (for the ladies), it was a bike race and thus completely devoid of single female action (notice the mouth packed with sunflower seeds and curmudgeonly disposition).

Also missing are those fluro-yellow wayfarers. Wtf. Those went missing the night I plowed that deer in the j-box on the way home from Crested Butte. Ginger-Fish, do you have them?

I digress. The point is that light duty/emo/hip/bro/hoodie/hooded long sleeve/stripped/Volcom attire has gone missing. There’s a big fat juicy reward for it if you happen to have it by some weird chance. Maybe you think it looks better on you (I challenge that, though I’m a fair judge, if it does look better on you, then my thrown has been usurped). Maybe it just appeared from the ether and you don’t know how it got there. Maybe I visited your house and because you turn the heat way up but leave the windows open “for ventilation,” I took it off and draped it over the back of a chair, as I so often drape, and left it there in a hasty retreat, as I so often haste. Perhaps I was at your party and getting down on the dance floor and I tossed the attractive attire aside in an absolving act of alliteration and there it hath laid since the night of said boogie?

I don’t know. I just want it back.

Sweet sweet succulent reward for any fruitful leads turned in.

————————————————————–

How many people wouldn’t want to get consummated in the back of that van?

Who do you suppose the figure is in the frosted passenger side glass?

You know for over a hundred bucks a month… shit should work. Literally everyone I know with an iPhone has said that their service has been cripplingly bad in the last 10 days. Phone is useless, shut down and restart, beep-bop-boop, a pile of undelivered texts and voicemails suddenly appears.

Great. Thanks.

Get your shit sorted At&t. I know it took you over two years to bring basic mms functionality to the iphone (like every other phone since 2005) but how about you bring a fucking phone app to the table?

There’s been more foul mouth- er foul finger I guess, I’m typing this not saying it- foul language in this post than anything in recent memory. I’m frustrated. So is everyone else.

———————————————————-

Oh look, just like an iphone! It does 20 things at once but you still need another phone just to make a god damned call.

And it ends up killing you on the inside too!