The New Boredom

Mah and Newer. Manure.

The Road.

with 2 comments

I’d like to call the grandest of shananagins on the trailers for The Road. Both of them are basically 100% bullshit.

This is possibly the single worst trailer in the history of movies. (Yes, I’ve seen the one for Beverly Hills Chihuahua.) That music sounds like some ham-fisted oaf in the vein of Danny Elfman wanted to spoon feed you suspense. “Open up, here comes the rocket ship shaped spoon with a big load of clumsy tension ready for space-mouth dock!” Fuck off. And the flash cuts, those awful titles, the embarrassing stock news footage, literally every scene with Charlize Theron… it’s as if they were trying to show you everything the real movie is not.

Then trailer 2 came out and it had more horns! And Robert Duvall! And Angels! And Fucking Explosions! And Fire!!!! And did literally not a damn thing to show you what the movie would be like. Shame on you studio for putting out that garbage. People looking for that kind of cheese dick action-thriller are going to be pissed when they get 5 minutes into the movie and realize that they are going to have to work for this movie- oops, 2012 is playing across the hall where it smells like Doritos and Axe body douche.

I’m glad to see some people who write for much more popular bogs than this thinking the same things as me.

I was afraid this big-screen version would tarnish the subtle landscape, the sparse construction, the hope and hopelessness that exists in such a perfect balance within the novel. But it didn’t. It doesn’t. The Road enhances its forebear. The film uses the novel as scaffolding, support around which to construct something admirably similar, but wholly unique.


And when, in flashback, the father says goodbye to his wife as she is swallowed by the ink of night as flecks of grey ash float in the air… It’s just maddening.

There’s a few of the establishing shots at the very start of the film that immediately took deep root in my memory as some of the most beautiful shots I have ever seen. One in particular is something I would pay entirely too much money to just have a poster of to hang where ever I call home for the rest of my days.
Go see it already.


Kitty rock star, sure why not. Bye, November.


Written by photokevo

December 1, 2009 at 7:46 am

Posted in I Hate You

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2 Responses

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  1. I got to see this movie for free, and no illegally. IN THEATRES. I was not disappointed, and so much of it was almost exactly like what I had in my head.


    December 4, 2009 at 6:38 am

    • i had imagined the basement scene much worse than what showed up on screen though the way it finally showed up was still pretty damn scary and tense. overall, loved it. disaster completely averted.


      December 5, 2009 at 12:21 am

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