The New Boredom

Mah and Newer. Manure.

Notes To Self: 12.21.09

with 2 comments

I always meant to carry around a little notebook with me so that I could write down some of the stuff that pops into my head. I feel like if I don’t get it written down that the idea will just keep migrating down the path to some one else who will be ready for it. Often I just get this weird whisper of an idea and I know there is something there if only I could just sit down and think about it for another 5 minutes. But as is usually the case, I’m driving or in the middle of something “important” and I can’t really develop the idea.

Enter iPhone into my dumb life. It has this little notepad feature. It is painfully slow to start up and I can’t figure out how to change the horrible default font. But I use it anyways as my little notebook that I never bring with me anywhere.

Here’s some stuff that showed up in the last notepad entitled: Circus Butt.

-“I’d say a 5 is good enough to Eiffel Tower.” This was a quote from probably Alex’s roommate. We were all discussing the improbable event of entering a three way with another couple and just how bizarre and awkward that would likely be for us. Alex, I think, introduced the stipulation of “well if the girl was really hot…” to which his roommate replied, “I don’t know. I’d say a 5 is good enough to Eiffel Tower.” I think that was the point when I checked out of the conversation.

-“Heavy is the head that eats the crayons.” This has to be a Tracy Jordan quote from 30 Rock. I don’t know where else this could possibly have come from. I already forgot where I was going with it.

-“Super conservatives, juggalos, and trench warfare. I just don’t understand these things.” Kate said this before a concert that we went to. We were discussing a mutual friend’s idea to make a fake reality tv show following the lives of two die hard Insane Clown Posse fans named Twizz and Shug. I don’t know how Kate drew up the other two things but all three make equally no sense to me too.

-“You showered that quick?” … “Yeah well, I’m Asian. And efficient. And quick. And small. And I ran out of shampoo.” This was an exchange between Steve and me that actually happened. I think I had wanted to develop this into a series of how all racial stereotypes stem from completely racially unbiased circumstantial situations like running out of shampoo or a traffic light malfunction or leaving instant oatmeal in the microwave for too long.

-“Backwards doppleganger.” I think I just wanted this to be my future website name. But then again, I really haven’t done shit with UndercoverHipster yet so maybe I should exhaust that one first.

-“Salisbury Asshole.” I fell asleep at work once for no more than 3 minutes in a small, warm, dark room to the rhythm of a single frame running analytical projector churning through about 300 feet of 16mm film. I had this dream that I took a break from the room and went to the cafeteria area in the student resource building and looked up at the menu and saw stuff like “Cheeseburger” and “Hot Dog” and “Fish ‘n’ Chips” and then at the bottom was “Salisbury Asshole” and I thought, “That’s peculiar?” so I asked the guy behind the counter what it was and he replied, “It’s anus meat covered in Salisbury sauce,” and I said, “Huh… okay. I’ll take a cheeseburger please,” and left. I woke up thinking it was so odd that they would offer that as a regular menu item and not as a periodic special. Then I thought I was weird for thinking that it should be a special and not something to never be put on a menu for any god damned reason ever.

-“National Treasure 3: Cum In Your Pants.” I have recently revisited some of the better Lonely Island sketches such as the classic “Jizz In My Pants” and had also been thinking a lot recently about how impeccably awful the National Treasure movies really are. They are like neutered Indiana Jones movies, or Indy 4 which is essentially just exactly that. For some reason I mashed the ending of Indy 4 into a National Treasure cast with that cheesy line about “Their true gift was knowledge!”  which might as well have come out of Cage’s mouth in a Treasure movie. Anyways, this is all very convoluted now that I’m typing it out but in my mind it all makes perfect sense to me for Nick Cage to goof-juice his pants at the end of the movie when he finds the treasure and then says “The real treasure is the cum in my pants!”




Written by photokevo

December 21, 2009 at 6:47 am

Posted in Nerd Out With Me

2 Responses

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  1. OHHH, NOW Indy 4 sucked, I seem to remember reading a post about how it was everything you wanted it to be and great… blah, blah…

    “Say global warming is a myth!”
    “It’s a myth, further study is needed!”
    -punch-“That’s for selling out your beliefs”


    December 23, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    • indy 4 did suck in the sense that it was not at all a good movie. but it did have all the elements that i wanted. it was fun. i’d watch it again.

      transformers, both one and two, sucked big time. but they were also both a ton of fun. and i would not pass on the chance to watch either of them again and again.

      just because a movie sucks a bag of dicks doesnt mean i don’t like it.


      December 23, 2009 at 6:26 pm

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