The New Boredom

Mah and Newer. Manure.

What a rip off.

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I went to this big, rich pants high school. The place has this huge lineage of successful business people and entrepreneurs and athletes and blah and blah blah blah. But they didn’t bring any of those hot shots back for my graduation ceremony to give us all an uplifting speech and prep us to go get the world! Nah. They just had the class valedictorian get up in front of everyone and talk about how hard it was for her to get a 5.0 “weighted” GPA and how tough the competition was for her to beat out the other bunch of assholes that got a 5.0 but somehow fell short in the tie breakers like how many days you were absent or how many canceraids they had. Hey great! I couldn’t relate to you for four years during school and I sure can’t now (except on the canceraids, obviously). Maybe anything else would have been better.

Take for example this awesome graduation speech by excellent comedian Eugene Mirman who went back to his old high school where they placed him in the special ed department.

At least he dished out some truthy nuggets like this one which would have served all us well: “And lastly, things can kill you so keep that in mind you fearless know-it-alls.”


Hey, guess what? You don’t matter.

And neither do I. Isn’t that cool?

And doesn’t that picture blow your mind!? Millions of stars. And that’s just some blank looking piece of the night sky. ZOWEEE!


Written by photokevo

January 6, 2010 at 3:20 am

Posted in I Hate You

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