The New Boredom

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Archive for February 2010

Story Time: In Which Language Confuses Me.

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So I used to go to lunch with my dad and his friends all the time when I was little. This one time we were coming back from lunch and I looked over at this other place that had big bright window paint advertising that they had a buffet special for like 5.99. I was just starting to read so I must have been like 5 years old I guess. I said something like, “Look dad, they have a buff-et for 6 dollars” and everyone in the car laughed at me because apparently it’s cute when little kids are idiots. My dad got done laughing and said, “That says ‘boofay’, not buffet. It’s French so you say it boofay.” Okay, lesson learned.

Maybe a couple weeks later we are out to lunch again, probably with some of the same people that were present for the boofay/buff-et lesson. “Margarittaville” comes on the radio at the place we’re eating and as per usual, I asked my dad who was on the radio. He said, “Son, this is Jimmy Buff-et.” And I sat there confused as hell for a few seconds before saying, “Don’t you mean Jimmy Boofay?”

Everyone laughs at me again because kids are stupid.

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Gaga book pro.

Written by photokevo

February 28, 2010 at 5:14 pm

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Story Time: In Which One Letter Makes Things Awkward.

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Every afternoon I have to fill out these sales reports that I don’t know anything about and then take them to be handed off to another person that does the same thing over again and then they give it to some one else in the cash management department that makes sure we aren’t stealing a shitload of money or whatever. Anyways, I hand the stuff off to this nice middle aged lady that works upstairs and we never really talk much other than the basic pleasantries and small talk about the weather. The other day she asks about the particularly busy looking day we had based on the reports I was handing in and I say something about how kids these days just use their mommy/daddy’s credit card and don’t know what cash even looks like. She says something along the lines of, “Oh, these city kids.”

And then I meant to say, “Yeah but even the few poor dirt farming country bumpkins that we have as students don’t know what cash looks like.”

But what I said was, “Yeah but even the few poor dirt farming country blumpkins that we have… [pause]… LAUGHTER TO THE POINT I HAVE TO LEAVE THE ROOM

The next day she just asked me about the lousy weather.

I’m still not sure she’s familiar with what blumpkin means.

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lol.

Written by photokevo

February 25, 2010 at 12:27 am

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Story Time: Force Feed

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The other day I was walking home from the bus stop listening to something probably really good on my new headphones when I just happened to glance over at a parked car on the street. In the driver’s seat of that car was a man unwrapping what I think was a double stack from Wendy’s (could have been a junior bacuh chee, who knows) and then promptly hammer it into his gaping mouth. The first 65% of it went in pretty smooth and fast. Simultaneously, my walk slowed down to a barely noticeable movement. Then the man started smashing the remaining 30-35% of the burger into his cheeks with his fingers through the corners of his straining lips, alternating from one side to the other until the entire sandwich was enveloped by his jaw. As the last little corner of the burger made its way past his lips his eyes drifted up to meet mine and seemed to beg, “Please don’t judge me” to which mine responded, “god damn dude… nice work.”

We shared this moment for what seemed like minutes but was actually probably a total of 4 or 5 seconds. My walk sped up to its normal (recently slower) pace and I continued my trek home confident that seeing that guy snake-style devour an entire burger in one swift cramming bite was easily the most impressive thing I would see all week. And here it is, Sunday evening and my prediction was spot on.

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Progression from Caryola’s original 8 colored crayons to today’s count:

Written by photokevo

February 21, 2010 at 11:03 pm

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Random Photo Dump 2.19.10

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I had some real content to post today but due to a recent turn in meteorlogical conditions (ie- fucking snow), I have decided to take refuge under my most kick ass blankets instead of typing that out.

In that text’s stead, enjoy some random photos that I like:

See ya when the cold stops being such a jerk.

Written by photokevo

February 19, 2010 at 1:31 am

Posted in General Vagaries

BMX Dump. 2.18.10

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So that whole thing where I have been really sick since the first week of January (mid-November maybe), well that’s made me lose about 15 pounds or so. Which would sound awesome if it were 15 pounds of fat but sadly it’s whatever fitness I had built up in the last couple months of 2009 by diligently sitting my ass down on the bike trainer and doing things (more) right for once. But either way, I fit into my “skinny jeans” (yeah, some straight guys have those too) now and have been wearing them for two weeks straight. And it’s starting to have an impact on how many bmx videos I’m watching every day. Which is to say, a lot.

Here’s a small sample of some that I watched just today and said ohwaowie!

Karl Poynter, one guy that can do sliders without looking like a real prick.

James Cox who may have the most dialed barspins around (though I don’t know, Darryl Tocco is a stout contender).

And this dude who I have never heard of has instantly won a place in my bmx-heart (located near the boner-bone) with such timeless favorite moves as: thd-thd-thd-thd-thd manual down stairs, half cab up to manual, wall ride to fakie manual (sans-free-coaster, ie, regular hub, aka cost-coaster)

Okay, see ya later fatties.

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When Charlotte Gainsbourg plays the drums, you listen. You listen or you get a giant sharpening stone bolted to your leg.

Written by photokevo

February 18, 2010 at 2:25 am

Unplugged, aka Lazy.

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I haven’t felt much like being on a computer lately. I also havent felt much like writing anything. Maybe this time off will give me some more stories to share but lately it’s just been wake up, go to work, go home, go to bed. Pretty rad story huh?

Well, here’s one thing at least. I saw St. Vincent live finally and I’ll tell you what every other person already knows and that’s Annie Clark shreds it and she is a pretty swell rock star.

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This is one of my favorite parts from another favorite movie of mine. Hoozah to all the people out there that screen grab shit with subtitles to post on the interblags.

Written by photokevo

February 17, 2010 at 3:35 pm

Logorama

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I had an idea to make an experimental film about the saturation of our daily lives with the logos and imagery of corporate advertising but any reasonable part of me has to admit that this is infinitely cooler and better done than any zany art douche crap that I would have ever got around to making.

Logorama, watch it here.

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This is easily one of my favorite parts of the best film of our times.

Written by photokevo

February 11, 2010 at 5:30 am

Posted in Media

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