The New Boredom

Mah and Newer. Manure.

Story Time: Force Feed

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The other day I was walking home from the bus stop listening to something probably really good on my new headphones when I just happened to glance over at a parked car on the street. In the driver’s seat of that car was a man unwrapping what I think was a double stack from Wendy’s (could have been a junior bacuh chee, who knows) and then promptly hammer it into his gaping mouth. The first 65% of it went in pretty smooth and fast. Simultaneously, my walk slowed down to a barely noticeable movement. Then the man started smashing the remaining 30-35% of the burger into his cheeks with his fingers through the corners of his straining lips, alternating from one side to the other until the entire sandwich was enveloped by his jaw. As the last little corner of the burger made its way past his lips his eyes drifted up to meet mine and seemed to beg, “Please don’t judge me” to which mine responded, “god damn dude… nice work.”

We shared this moment for what seemed like minutes but was actually probably a total of 4 or 5 seconds. My walk sped up to its normal (recently slower) pace and I continued my trek home confident that seeing that guy snake-style devour an entire burger in one swift cramming bite was easily the most impressive thing I would see all week. And here it is, Sunday evening and my prediction was spot on.


Progression from Caryola’s original 8 colored crayons to today’s count:


Written by photokevo

February 21, 2010 at 11:03 pm

Posted in Story Time

Tagged with , ,

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