The New Boredom

Mah and Newer. Manure.

Archive for October 2010

Fast Acting Diet!

leave a comment »

About once every 18 months, I have a routine bout with food poisoning. It’s pretty standard, just a night spent turning myself in-side-out through the mouth in the bathroom. And then I feel great.

But if you want to get serious about weight loss, you can’t just get a night of food poisoning here and there and expect to see real results.

It’s time to get real. It’s time to contract e.coli or salmonella poisoning! Now that’s how you lose over 12 pounds in 7 days.

I look slim as hell and I’m like two holes tighter on my belt… of course, a flight of stairs or a 30 foot walk makes me feel like I’ve just run a marathon. Minor trade offs. You gotta look good… worry about feeling good some other time.

Later, fatties. I’ve got to go do nothing but waste away all day.

——————————————————————-

Little kids have the best costumes ever. So much better than “sexy prostitute” like when we all get older.

Written by photokevo

October 30, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Posted in I Hate You

Death Pool.

leave a comment »

This was totally me today at work:

And there’s apparently already a pool started to see when and from what floor of the building I jump during my inevitable snap.

I feel that by knowing about this pool’s existence, the results will be skewed. I think the pool is void and they should all have to start over with new bets now knowing that I know they are gambling on my demise.

————————————————————————

This was one of my class mates and the guy who I replaced in my previous job position. This is also the first photo I took on my current cell phone. I would do this to him almost every day he wore that jersey.

Written by photokevo

October 26, 2010 at 11:43 pm

Posted in I Hate You

Yes. A Thousand Times Yes.

leave a comment »

No, not marriage.

Just this video.

That is pretty much the best thing ever. I’ve already watched it 3 times back to back to back. Wow.

—————————————————

Not looking forward to snow, especially after that video.

But I am looking forward to pink flamingos looking out of place.

Written by photokevo

October 23, 2010 at 4:59 pm

Posted in Media

Tagged with ,

Almost Over.

with one comment

The Kodachrome is almost all gone.

So what did I go and shoot with it? Yeah. A sunset. So what?

It was the creamiest sunset ever so shut up.

Yeah. I time lapsed it too. Deal with it.

——————————————————————————–

I also took this picture of sun dried puke on the side of a parked car.

Deal with that too.

Written by photokevo

October 22, 2010 at 11:40 pm

Posted in Photo/Video

Tagged with

The Worst Kind Of Scum!

leave a comment »

Soap scum?

No.

The worst kind of scum is people, I tell you what. And not to get all Andy Rooney on you here, but god damn kids these days are the worst type of metaphorical scum there is. I’ll tell you why, oh I’ll tell you indeed.

I go into the bathroom the other day and walk up to the urinal and what the fuck is that?! Oh. It’s nothing, just a palm sized loogie summoned up from deep within some stoner’s clogged lungs. No, not in the urinal. These kids these days, remember, are the scum of the world; nay, the loogie-gigantis is spat on the urinal, on top of the fixture designed to be pissed in.

And don’t correct my grammar in the middle of a rant. I know that ended with a preposition. If you’re all not going to differentiate between further and farther any more then I’m going to go ahead and say “pissed in” to end a sentence.

So there I am. It’s too late to stop and switch to another urinal. I just have to stand there until business hours are over and just stare at this abnormally large loogie as it just sits there 3 feet away from my face, just trying not to think about how disgustingly close it is to other important parts of my body- like the thorax.

The literal scum from the metaphorical scum pretty much dashed my hopes that we will ever solve a single earthly problem as a species.

——————————————————————————

It’s going to be Halloween soon. Gets your vermin offspring rounded up and make them adorable for one time this year.

Written by photokevo

October 20, 2010 at 12:03 am

Posted in I Hate You

Tagged with

Colorado: The Place Films Used To Be Shot.

leave a comment »

This damn state is practically trying to make sure movies don’t get shot around here.

Here’s an article from a little bit ago about the topic.

But most importantly from that article, you’ll notice my lady being a kick ass boom-op.

———————————————————————–

Bigfoot doesn’t square dance.

But he does MC while your kids are off somewhere held captive in a barn being forced to dance for his freaky pleasure.

Written by photokevo

October 18, 2010 at 1:18 am

Posted in Media

ASC Vandalism: The Social Network.

leave a comment »

What an unremarkable cover this last issue anyways. Might as well waste your taxpayer dollars vandalizing them.

The Social Pornagrapher:

The Social Antichrist:

The Social Network Orange:

The Social Pig Laser:

 

The Paradoxically Social Mime:

 

The Social Diva:

 

The Social Kitteh:

Not sure what next month will bring other than ample use of sharpies and paint pens.

———————————————————————————–

Mondays. Eff.

Written by photokevo

October 18, 2010 at 12:01 am