The New Boredom

Mah and Newer. Manure.

Fast Acting Diet!

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About once every 18 months, I have a routine bout with food poisoning. It’s pretty standard, just a night spent turning myself in-side-out through the mouth in the bathroom. And then I feel great.

But if you want to get serious about weight loss, you can’t just get a night of food poisoning here and there and expect to see real results.

It’s time to get real. It’s time to contract e.coli or salmonella poisoning! Now that’s how you lose over 12 pounds in 7 days.

I look slim as hell and I’m like two holes tighter on my belt… of course, a flight of stairs or a 30 foot walk makes me feel like I’ve just run a marathon. Minor trade offs. You gotta look good… worry about feeling good some other time.

Later, fatties. I’ve got to go do nothing but waste away all day.


Little kids have the best costumes ever. So much better than “sexy prostitute” like when we all get older.


Written by photokevo

October 30, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Posted in I Hate You

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